Christmas presents [Archive] - CAMheads CNC Router Forum By: CAMaster CNC

GJMATHEWS

12-21-2008, 10:15 AM

As more of you get to know me, you will learn one thing about me that I refuse to change. That is my dislike for Chinese Imports.

I am not saying that all Chinese Imports are bad, just the ones that make it hard for American Woodworkers to compete because of the lack of rules and regulations for Chinese Imports. The same rules that we as American Woodworkers have to adhere to, (or be shut down by local, state and the federal governments) are almost non existent in China. Can you say OSHA boys and girls? What about EPA? How about child labor laws?

Anyhow, last year while trying to sell an American Made Vintage Tricycle on eBay, I rewrote Clement Moore's famous story, "Twas the Night Before Christmas."

I share it with all who care to read it and am thankful to live in a country that lets me share it with anyone who cares.

Pass it on if you wish or dismiss it as the ravings of a brain that was fried reading and writing too much code.

BTW, the Tricycle sold to a fellow in Georgia who was going to restore it for his grand daughter.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good CNC Machine.

THE WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Adapted from Clement Clarke Moore by Me, to reflect present day America!

'Twas the weeks before Christmas and all through the land
People were screaming to Congressmen, this is getting out of hand;
The Chinese were painting the toys with lead,
And children eating Aqua Dots were fears to dread;
The packages that were nestled between the couch and the wall,
Had to go back to the store because of another frigging recall;
So with mamma in her minivan, and I in my truck,
We had just set for the mall to once again push our luck.
There at the stores people pushed and shouted,
While children screwed over by the Chinese cried and pouted.
Away to the toy store I flew like a flash,
Hoping to find something safe with my remaining cash.
The fluorescent lights on the newly buffed floors,
Made this place look, like all the other stores.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the Store Manager and 8 clerks bringing up the rear,
The Store Manager moved, so drunkenly and slow,
I knew in a moment this poor fellow did not have long to go.
More slowly than sloth’s his clerks they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Johnny! Now, Doris! Now, Horace and Valerie!
Lets’ go, Cindy, Kim, Sam and Joe, or there will be no salary!
With boxes stacked to the ceiling and about to fall!
He shouted, “Hey, get those boxes off that wall!
As customers saw the boxes stacked so shakey and un-neat,
They stampeded the Manager and knocked him from his feet,
They pushed and pulled and gouged an eye or two,
The mob was packed so tight, there was no hope of getting through.
And then, in a nasally voice, I heard on the loudspeaker
The sound of one of the clerks, his voice growing weaker.
As I parried a thrust from the mob, and was turning around,
A guy from Mall Security repelled from the balcony with a bound.
He was dressed in Black Dickies, from his head to his toes,
And his clothes were all tarnished with powdered sugar, even his nose;
A can of pepper spray he had in his hand,
And he waved it around trying to make a stand.
His eyes -- how they quivered! His knees were shaking!
His breath came in gasp, in his boots he was quaking!
His droll little mouth was drawn up real tight,
And the goatee on his chin didn’t look quite right;
The butt of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth,
On his hip, a bowie knife snapped in its sheath;
He had a broad face and a little fat belly,
That shook, when he yelled like a bowlful of jelly.
He was fat and plump alright, a dirty old slob,
And I wondered as I watched, why anyone would want his stinking job;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know the mob had plenty to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his job,
And launched pepper spray on everyone in the mob,
They dispersed like roaches in the night,
The way they do, when you turn on a light.
And folding his arms across his chest,
And giving a nod, he knew he’d passed his test;
The mob sat quietly, laid out on the floor,
As he turned and walked out the door,
But I heard him exclaim to everyone as he was ending the brawl,
"Listen up you frigging idiots, everything in this store is on recall!”

Buy American! It may cost a few dollars more, but aren’t you and those you love, worth it?

© The Online Yard Sale, December 2, 2007